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April 2018: Damp Proofing Out-takes, Damp Horses and Cheeky Pensioners…

Gelert the damp proofing guru or just damp dog?

As a bit of fun for April Fool's Day, we thought we'd share a light-hearted look at some of the more humorous enquiries we've encountered over the years.

Recently we had a flurry of e-mails from suppliers offering discounts on 'basment conversion' products. The missing letter reminded us of an enquiry we received from someone who had mis-read one of our vans and thought we offered 'damp ROOFING'.

A little further digging and we managed to find a few more amusing slip-ups, so here are our top 5:

1. Typos: basment conversions, damproofing and membrain are the most common!

2. "I have a severe problem with damp in my horse." (Perhaps a vet…?)

3. "I need someone to install a Jacuzzi spa bath, double sink, double shower and WC, tile walls and floor (marble) and all electrics. The room is 15ftx19ft approx. I am a pensioner and on a tight budget so would like someone to do the work for £100 or less. (Yes, this was for real. Wish my 'tight budget' allowed for huge marble luxury bathrooms, don't you? Fairly sure he would got all of that within the price stated... in 1950!)

4. "My husband fell through the loft and wrecked his Artex." (Ouch, sounds painful!)

5. "Ah, it says "Damp Roofing" on your van, can you come and look at our roof please?" (Not sure why you'd want a DAMP roof – aren't they all damp enough? Must be a British thing!)

Thank you for reading, and remember if you need assistance with damproofing (or even damp proofing) or your 'basment' needs waterproofing, find us online at or call 01650 531 694. - Probably best not call us with any wet horses though, can't really help with that :o)

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